Nine

As we were approaching this day I was feeling quite different than I thought I would. In the recent months I’ve noticed, more than normal, people talking and posting about how wonderful their marriage is and how in love they are. So naturally I begin to examine my own life. I began wondering what was wrong with us? I didn’t “feel” in love. What happened to the spark? How do we get it back? Life definitely didn’t seem so carefree as it did when we got married. Then I remembered how much has changed. We are older, we have kids, and God has brought us through some tough stuff, and we are in a difficult season of long hours of work for Justin and long days at home for me. Of course it’s different. But I was still stuck. How did I get that “feeling” back?

Then I realized that’s not really what I needed. I had been looking at it all wrong. Seeing it for what it’s not and not for what it is. So thinking back over the last 9 years I know what it is. It’s love, laughter, tears, strength, hurt feelings, respect, imperfections, understanding, forgiveness, and commitment.....For better or worse

Our days have gone like this...

Days of bliss- our wedding day, the first year, vacations, buying our home...

Days we didn’t like each other- when the newness wore off, lack of communication that lead to us shutting down, miscommunication, bitterness, loss of intimacy at times, harsh words; forgetting we are in this together...

Days we won’t forget- the birth of Aiden and Ryan, trusting God when Justin left his job of 11 years, surgeries, sickness, the arduous days of my depression, the challenging year and half job search, trusting God to be our provider when we didn’t have enough...

The simple days- everyday, sharing our home, watching our favorite show together, driving to church, playing with our sons. Just being together...

Anything in life, when we start comparing ourselves, we will always fall short. At the end of the day I will take what we have over just a feeling. What we have is deeper. And even though we are in a tough season, we will make it through like we always have and grown closer because of it. I’ll take simple. I'll take messy. I’ll take us.