The Truth

You know the one or two, very rarely three, friends you can tell anything. They give you no judgement. Just love and the truth. Most importantly, the truth. Sure, we don’t always like to hear it but we need it. Although my very closest friends don’t live in the same city, I’m so grateful I can call them up in a second or email them with my raw emotions just so someone knows how I’m feeling. In return I don’t get a fluff answer. I get love, support, and the hard truth. In this season there’s been a lot of loneliness. No one ever tells you that when you become a stay at home mom you might struggle with loneliness. Add an amazing husband who works his butt off doing overtime to help pay off debt and that leaves you feeling even more lonely. That loneliness can turn into bitterness. "Doesn’t everyone know what I’m going through? They should be calling or coming over. After all, they do know my situation." So when it doesn’t happen I’m let down. And maybe I’m expecting too much of people. Others aren't in the same phase of life and don’t always respond in the same ways I would. And that can be hurtful. But if I’m putting all my worth in friends then I will continue to be let down. Yes, you need that support but they aren't there to fulfill you. I’m realizing after hearing back from a friend that I haven't been finding my whole worth in God. I have a long way to go. I've been focusing on what others aren't doing instead of looking to God to be enough. Yes I still think it’s hard if you don’t have friends supporting you like you would them, but it makes it so much better knowing God is really all you need anyway. I do still think friendships are very important. And having those few very close friends I can be totally open with is essential. We aren’t meant to do life alone, but they aren’t the foundation. I think I was looking more to people to fill the void instead of trusting God that He is enough. Just because some friends aren't there how I need them to be doesn't mean they don't care. It doesn't give me a reason slip into bitterness and depression. In those times I need to turn to God. So thank you Joni, for loving me enough to give me the truth. "Prayer may not change all things for you, but it sure changes you for all things." -John Mason