Friday, June 15, 2012

For Dad

"My Father didn't tell me how to live. He lived, and let me watch him do it." Clarence B Kelland

For having rules, staying true to your word, doing your best....Thank You

Thank you for....
the healthy meals I was forced to eat.
not allowing me to have the twenty dollars I begged for to go spend at the mall.
the road trips to Nebraska, even though John and I fought like cats and dogs.
not allowing fast food and other junk in our home.
telling me no when you knew it was best, and keeping your word.
pretending to love the dorky gifts we would get for you with your own money.
being so proud when I was in a beauty pageant.
being a huge supporter of me when I danced in high school.
letting me drive a piece of junk car.
allowing me to learn from my mistakes on my own.
making me sit at the table until I finished my broccoli.
being committed.
not giving in to my every whine and demand.
showing me what it looks like to be smart with money.
practicing self control.
all the vitamins I was forced to take, it meant doctor visits & sickness were rare.
letting me run to your room and hide under the covers during thunderstorms.
making mistakes and showing you are human too.
the twinkle in your eye and the giant smile when you see my sons.

Thank you for that. And thank you for understanding I didn't always mean what I said. I'm sorry for the many times I yelled I hate you. Hearing my son when he's mad say he doesn't love me hurts. Even though he is 5 and I know he doesn't mean it. Out of frustration I yelled a lot of things I didn't mean, rolled my eyes thinking I was right and you were wrong. I know now, you knew best.

And with mistakes there is grace. And I pray my kids give me that same grace because I surely need it. As parents we do the best we can at the time. We need lots of grace, lots of love, and lots of understanding. I find myself doing some of the same things you did. I'm so grateful I had a good example. Life wasn't easy but dad, you did good.

It's funny the phase we are in, so much of our kids antagonizing one another and I find myself sounding like you. I guess it happens to all of us. We get pay back, right? As I find myself super annoyed I laugh and remember when I was that age how horribly annoying I could be and you are probably laughing now knowing I'm getting my payback. I'm sure when the day comes that I have grandchildren I will be giggling thinking the same thing.

I see now that parents know better than young children. Yes, it's more work but it's worth it to be a person of your word. And to teach your children you don't have to give into every desire in the moment. Thank you for that.

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." -Charles Wadsworth