Thursday, August 19, 2010
It was Christmas 2005 and I felt horrible. I had an awful pain in my side so I laid down most of the day. I went to the doctor 2 days later to find out I had a cyst on my ovary. Two days later I went back for the sonogram results. The cyst was benign, but one of the technicians thought there was a possibility of an ectopic pregnancy. I had blood taken to see if I in fact was pregnant. Surprise!!! I was pregnant. I couldn’t quite celebrate yet because we had to go back a few more times to see if my hcg levels were rising to show the pregnancy progressing. Even then, we had to wait until I was 8 weeks to see a sonogram to find out if this was an ectopic pregnancy or a normal one. What a relief to find out in late January that we were definitely having a baby! The next few weeks went fine except for a little morning sickness.....and then it began.
What I thought was the cyst on my ovary bursting turned in to horrible episodes of pain, an emergency room visit, hospital stay, a colonoscopy without any drugs, and then being sent home only to have the episodes return a week later. It was the worst pain of my life. I felt like my insides were on fire and I remember telling Justin that I just wanted to die. After multiple episodes, the worst one came in February and we again went to the emergency room. A sonogram showed my ovary was tortioned. We had to do surgery immediately to remove my left ovary with a risk of the baby not making it. I would have to wait until the morning to get a sonogram to see if the baby had survived. I remember my mother in law telling me that my doctor talked to her that evening and told her that this baby needed some big prayers. The next morning my doctor came in to wake me up. I laid there, my heart pounding as he put the sonogram wand on my belly. I couldn’t bear to hear him say he was sorry. I already loved this tiny baby so much and didn’t know what I would do if he/she was gone. After a few moments he looked at me and smiled. He said the baby was doing great. I was so grateful and relieved. We found out later that if this had happened to me just a few years earlier we would have lost the baby. The new procedure of doing a laparoscopy saved Aiden’s life.
The rest of my pregnancy went well although it was a very hot summer and I was incredibly swollen and uncomfortable. We took a last minute trip to spend our last time together as a family of two. We headed to Houston for a couple of baseball games and time with friends. We got home on a Wednesday night, and surprise....Friday evening around 9:00 my water broke. Three weeks before my due date there we were driving to the hospital knowing we had to make a difficult phone call. Justin’s parents were due to leave in the morning for a 10 day cruise in Alaska. This was their first grandchild and they wanted so badly to be there. We called and broke the news. Excitement for this new baby, but a difficult decision to make. After finding out their trip insurance didn’t cover this situation we all decided they would go on their trip. They deserved an amazing vacation to celebrate their 40th year of marriage and this baby would be waiting to meet them when they got home. After all how often do grandparents get to live in the same city as their grandchildren and see them whenever they want. After a 16 hour labor and 2 hours of pushing I got the devastating news that I would have to have a c-section. Aiden was just not going to fit. I was not prepared for it at all and refused to believe it was necessary. This was not in my plans, but after several minutes of discussion I finally agreed that this was what was best. August 19th, 2006 Aiden Taylor arrived weighing 7 pounds 7 ounces. Our miracle boy was here and just hearing him cry made all of the pain worth it!
Aiden means warmth of the home/ fiery one. How perfectly that defines Aiden Taylor! He is such an amazing little boy with so much love and we are so blessed that God gave us this miracle boy. He has turned into such a lovable, funny little man who is now talking in sentences and amazing us everyday. It’s amazing the strength God gives you to go through trials to get something so wonderful. I would do it all over again to have my little monkey in my life. Happy 4th Birthday to our Little Misters!!!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Ryan Trent-Little King of Trent's Town
It was fall of 2008 and we were discussing when we would like to expand our family. We decided late Spring would be a good time to start trying. Little did we know it wouldn’t happen in our timing, imagine that ;p The first month I wasn’t necessarily expecting to get pregnant, but I sure was hoping I would. I was sad when it didn’t happen right away, but I knew it was “normal” to take 3-4 months. Well month 4 and 5 passed and inside I just knew something was wrong. When I was 12 weeks pregnant with Aiden, I had a tortioned ovary that had to be surgically removed, so I had a feeling that was why we were having a problem. I have such an amazing doctor who I trust, so I went in to talk to him. We did blood tests to see if I was ovulating and found out I wasn’t. I was devastated when he told me I needed to get on birth control for 2 months to regulate my hormones. I just couldn’t do it. I was longing for a baby so badly. So I got on birth control for one month then moved on to Letrozole, a medicine to induce ovulation, the next month. Back for more blood work to see if I ovulated, yes I did! But not so happy news when I found out I was not pregnant. It’s a horrible feeling. We only had the experience of getting pregnant with Aiden. He was our little surprise baby. I felt like everyone around me was getting pregnant so quickly and it wasn’t fair. So the next month I took a second dose of the Letrozole. Blood work showed I was ovulating. We waited another 10 days and found out, YES we were pregnant. That 8 months of waiting had felt like an eternity, but I knew there were women out there going on 5 years of trying and still no baby. I knew I was blessed. Even though it seemed like forever I knew in all the waiting God was up to something.
I had a very rough pregnancy. I was working about 30 hours a week, where I stood the whole time, with pretty much all day morning sickness that lasted 16 weeks, horrible back pain causing me to be unable to walk, swelling, and trying to lift a 40 pound strong willed 2 year old while he threw tantrums. I was exhausted and ready to meet our baby. A month before Ryan came , Justin left his job of 11 years. We didn’t know what we were going to do, but we knew God had called us to move on and knew He would take care of us. There was a peace, but also a bit of worry. I’m such a planner and I’m sure God giggled when I thought I could take control. I had a wonderful plan to get pregnant in early summer and be biggest in the winter...didn’t work out so well ;p I don’t recommend being huge and pregnant in the hot Texas summer, but apparently I’m made to do that ;) Ryan was born on August 4th and was cuter than I could have imagined. He was perfect and well worth the wait. Thinking about that 8 months of waiting to get pregnant, I felt almost silly for complaining. That was nothing in comparison to the joy I felt when I saw Ryan for the first time, and I would do that and more all over again to have this sweet baby be a part of our family.
Justin didn’t have a job for the first 2 months of Ryan’s life and thank goodness for that. I don’t know that I can even describe how horrible my recovery was. The pain killers I was on caused horrible nausea, which lead to me unable to eat, which made me want to get off the meds that then put me in severe pain where my incision was. Add that to lack of sleep and a confused 3 year old having to now share Justin and I with his newborn baby brother who wouldn’t sleep well unless you held him. Ryan was so congested that he would not only keep us up at night but wake himself up as well. God knew I needed my husband for that time. Looking back in my misery of questioning God and why it was taking so long I now see that He was at work. He always sees what we can’t and I’m so thankful He knows best.
As much joy as there was having this new baby there was also a lot of bad emotions. In my mind my life looked like it was over. I knew it wasn’t but no matter how much I focused on God and my family the feelings got worse. I knew there was something wrong, but for 7 months I was in denial. When I finally got help I was diagnosed with Post-Partum Depression. I only wish I had gotten help sooner because I feel that I missed out on so much joy in Ryan’s first 6 months. I wasn’t seeing clearly how great my life was and I missed out on a lot. I’m so glad I finally got better and have been able to fully enjoy life.
Ryan is one of the greatest joys of my life. Every time I think about him or talk about him I light up and can’t stop smiling. He is our miracle and I’m in love. Today is bittersweet for me. I’m sad because him turning a year old is just reminding me how fast our kids grow up, but at the same time I’m excited to see who he becomes. I’m so thankful for this miracle baby God has entrusted to us. I hope that he grows up seeing how God has blessed his life and feels God’s love through us and others. He is our Little King, or Little Turkey as I call him :D