Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I didn't know her, but I love her...

"What do your parents do?" Turning red, my heart racing, I wanted to change the subject. I always hated that question. My response was always the same. I only talked about my dad. Then the dreaded following question came. "What about your mom?" Very nervous, I replied "well I don't have one." The uncomfortable explanation came next....

It was the evening of March 20th, 1984. My heart breaks at the terror I know she felt. Someone was taking her life away from her. She was a mother of 4 who loved her kids and her husband. Why was this happening? It wasn't fair. What was going to happen to her children? She was an important loved mother and now they won't have her..... Her children found out the next day that their mother had been killed. Such an important person had been brutally murdered. My mother, Nancy Ruth Menke, gave me life and love until she was taken from us when I was 2 years old. I didn't know her, but I love her.

I'm not sure how she felt the day she had to let go of her son. I don't know how old she was, what her name is, or how she got into the situation. Was she sad, relieved, heartbroken? Whether or not she didn't want to have anything to do with him or if she had no choice but to give him up, she chose to give him life, and for that I am grateful. On July 30th, 1977 my husband was born. I can't imagine life without him. His birth mother has no idea what impact she made when she chose to give birth to Justin. I know Ron and Yvonne do. Justin is their adopted son. September 19th, 1977 Yvonne's dream of being a mother came true because another mother was willing to give life to someone else. I didn't know her, but I love her.

Grateful. I can't get that word out of my mind. That can't even begin to describe what is in my heart though. I'm overwhelmed with joy, and thankfulness when I think of mothers and what a gift it is to be one. I am so thankful that I have awesome, godly women in my life that have shown me what it looks like to be a great mom. Women who love their children by showing affection, but have boundaries to protect them. Open arms even when their kids disobey, and an openness for communication without fear so their kids can have freedom to talk about anything and be themselves. Respect from their children because they are honest and live a life that serves God.

My heart aches for those who aren't able to enjoy the experience of being a mother. And for those who have to give their babies up, or for those who have their babies taken from them during pregnancy or after. For those who try for years before becoming pregnant, or those trying and having disappointment each month when there is a negative test. So many unanswered questions of why.

I feel so blessed to be a mom. I am so grateful that God gave me this opportunity and responsibility to give love. I want to love them the way God loves me and make the most of every day I have with them.


  1. This is such a beautiful post. Knowing you and Justin and the amazing parents you are is just further proof of the power of God and His grace and His ability to turn the difficulties of life into significant worthwhile wonders! Love you both!

  2. Oh Lou...
    I just love you. Beyond grateful, beyond words.

  3. Wow....just Wow! You and Justin are such amazing representations of God's grace and favor! LOVE YOU!!

  4. Oh my goodness Alanna...I was in tears reading this post...
    But I do love the beautiful point of view that you have. You are a wonderful mama! Happy Mother's day :)

  5. This left me speechless. It's so heartfelt and wonderfully written. Thank you for sharing and thank you for allowing us to see a piece of your heart. It is beautiful!