I am blown away. God, again, has shown himself faithful. On Thursday I checked my mail. I opened a card from someone I didn't know and sat there stunned. Someone was blessed by this blog and chose to bless me. I am beyond grateful.
Why do I write this blog? I write it because I know there are hurting people that feel alone and need some encouragement. I write it for those who need to know that they aren't the only imperfect people with struggles they feel they should have conquered already. I just want to be honest and open so I can help others. I am flawed and that's okay. I'm working to become more like Christ and falling all the way to get there. It's not a surprise though, isn't that what we have been told it will be like. So why do we go through life feeling as though we aren't good enough? I still struggle with that, and sometimes feel that it's so ridiculous, but I know I'm not the only one. I do love my life, but when I stop focusing on what God has blessed me with, that's when I get stuck feeling jealous of others and wanting to be someone I'm not. I know that's not what God wants for me. I can't be my best if I'm constantly looking to be who I'm not.
There are some dreams God has given me and I'm working on those right now. I am not moving at the pace I probably should because I'm scared. Fear is trying to take over for what God has told me to do. What am I afraid of? A lot of things; what people might think of me, not being good enough, and making mistakes. But if I let fear hold me back people might miss out on a blessing God has for them because of my delayed obedience. I am going to listen to God and do my best to move forward. Mistakes and all. I believe that He will make something beautiful from something that seems so flawed to me.