Wednesday, June 5, 2013


When you do things you aren't proud of it can be difficult to go back and ask for forgiveness. But it's required to be fully free. Sadly I have done a lot of hurtful things in life and have needed a lot of forgiveness. But I didn't always do my best asking for it. I avoided confrontation and hid my emotions; numb to life. I didn't know how to handle things so I just walked away. After a friendship of fifteen years there were disagreements and we went our separate ways; feelings very hurt.

Six years later healing began and friendship started again. I realize this isn't always the case. What do you do when you don't get that opportunity? Maybe you had the chance but you didn't take it. Then all those years later you are ready but the other person isn't willing. How do you deal with knowing you are sorry but don't have the opportunity to tell that person and receive forgiveness. Being remembered for someone you aren't anymore. I've found that I just have to receive the forgiveness from God and have comfort in that.

Thankfully today is a different story. Today I celebrate someone that I hurt many years ago; but our story has the best outcome. Six years were lost, but two people became stronger, wiser, and more in need of something special that began twenty seven years ago. It took time to heal and time to trust again but it has been worth it.

There is just never enough time when we are together. We can laugh about anything. We have serious life conversations, reflecting on the past, and remembering how thankful we are for healing. How often does someone have the same best friend from when they were five? Twenty seven years later we are here. We missed a few years and it took some time, but we are back. I don't even have to remind myself how special this is. I get it. Not everyone has this. It is really rare and special. Today I reflect on how thankful I am for that.

So Happy Birthday Pepper. This is your special day. A day all about you... for gifts, love, attention, time with family, celebration, everything. But today I write because of a gift you have given me. The gift of forgiveness and renewed friendship. I'm forever grateful for it. Thank you for amazing memories, unending laughs, and the opportunity to be my dorky self with you. And most of all, thank you for forgiving me. For seeing that I had changed and for allowing our friendship to be restored. I love you so much!

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