Monday, November 21, 2011

Eyes opened

Two nights ago we went to an Autism Awareness event. A night for kids to be themselves, surrounded by others just like them. As we walked in I immediately had a broken heart. Through this whole struggle with Aiden, all of the days feeling sorry for myself and being mentally exhausted, I have thought our situation was so difficult. My eyes were opened at this event. I saw so many kids with autism that weren't speaking normally but flapping their arms and even grunting; very low functioning. I couldn't stop watching them and their parents, as they so patiently followed them around, lovingly redirecting them. My heart was breaking into a million pieces. As I started to think of the days I have sat and cried over the struggle we go through with Aiden, I could imagine them doing the same thing. For the first time I saw a bigger struggle. A twenty four hour a day struggle. A lifelong struggle. For a moment I was angry at myself for ever thinking I had it bad. How dare I pity myself thinking my life was hard. But then I was reminded that I do have a struggle. It may not be "as difficult" as someone else's but it's still hard. I'm sure those parents see other people with difficult situations and think the same thing. We see other people and wonder how they make it through each day. I know I did this before Aiden was in our lives and thought I could never handle something like this. What I've found to be true is that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. With His strength, and the love I have for my child I can do this. We all have a struggle and want to feel compassion from others and be understood. I know there are so many other issues people are dealing with that I have not a clue about. Even being in the world of Autism for over 3 years my eyes were just opened to a greater window of it. I want my eyes to opened to other things too. I don't want to be so wrapped up in my own stuff that I forget that others are dealing with tough stuff. I want to show compassion, even if I lack understanding. Just as I wish for others to understand the world of Autism, I know others are hoping for the same in their struggles. I can't know about all things but I can be kind in how I treat other people knowing everyone is going through something. And especially when that is someone that is close to me I can do something to support them and help them know I care.

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